MR.TIGHT vs MR.CLOVERDALE

Dear all,
Yesterday Elena C.,a colleague of mine,asked me about my ex-boss.Prior to working in state-run schools I used to teach English to hairgreased guys with tie,suit and all the company perks you might think of.that reminded me of the low,pathetic level of English that our politicians have.The least I expect from someone who represents me in a meeting in the white house is that they speak English decently.One of the few politicians who speaks good English is the president of the "madrileños", as she herself says.In addition,another colleague of mine,Pablo C.,taught me how to insert a link in a post,so the best way of saying thank you is proving that I've learned how to do it.
Click HERE to check Mrs. Hope's level of English

CAN THIS BE HEALTHY????

I was checking the net out looking for new ideas to surprise my small intestine when I came across this lady and her maccaroni salad.There's only one word that pops into my mind: WOW
Check it out HERE

BASED ON A TRUE STORY

No,I'm not Brad Pitt,I know.Two students have reminded me that I'm not Orlando Bloom,thanks for reminding me,guys.I really thought I was handsome until you told me I'm not.
I was in class,talking about the comparatives and superlatives.Just to get the attention of my students,I said I was the most handsome teacher at school,and I might have said I am the most intelligent too.Ten seconds later I see one student giving a small piece of paper to another student.I ask her to give it to me,which she reluctantly does.The note read:

-Has the teacher ever looked at himself in a mirror?
-Not since he was born,I think.

Really???Are you kidding???I thought I was handsome!!!!
There's only one thing I can say:
Learn things,guys

CREEP

This is one of my favourite tunes, Radiohead's "creep".Check it out on youtube and take a minute to read the lyrics.Hope you enjoy it.


When you were here before,
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel,
Your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fuckin' special

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts,
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice
when I'm not around
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here, ohhhh, ohhhh

She's running out again
She's running out
She run run run run...
run... run...

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin' here?
I don't belong here

I don't belong here...

Cool Hand Tight

When I was 23 me and my friends got together on a cold and frosty night.We got together in my house. I had bought the film 'Cool hand Luke',a movie where Paul Newman eats 50 boiled eggs. My friends and I got carried away and bought 50 frozen piccolini's,50 donettes and 50 green plums. Each of us had to choose what to eat. I chose the 50 plums; since it was fruit, I thought it was the healthiest of the three possible choices.By the way,guys,which would you have chosen???I did eat the 50 green plums and my friend did eat the 50 piccolinnis,but the other guy didn't eat the 50 donettes.Obviously,I couldn't sleep all night and I had serious problems in my digestive system.Believe it or not,one week after that night I had lost three kilograms.
Anyway,I don't know why I'm telling you this...I guess it's for you to learn what you shouldn't do if you ever watch that movie.By the way,Julio's chickened out already!!!!

D-13

That's the day,folks.It's official now.The fittest teachers at IES Profesor Dominguez Ortiz will fight in a 21 Kilometer race.Some of them will probably quit.I won't.This is a formal declaration of war.I won't quit.I've done it before.I know I can endure pain and suffering.I've run 21 kilometers.I'm not the fastest.I may not win...but I won't quit.What about you,Pablo?What about you,Julio?What about you,Graciela?What about you,Gabriel???Have you yet learnt to suffer?Have you learnt to lick your wounds and keep on fighting??What about the department of P.E.?Cubas?Juanjo?Olga?You are supposed to be there.I'll tell you about my training,the feelings and all that,dudes.I'm looking forward to it,I'm looking forward to suffering.BE READY!!!

FERMAT VS COPPER

In order to overcome the creeps that the weirdo I ran into last Saturday had given me,I borrowed a movie from the public library (really,you get the movie and you pay nothing!!!), La Habitación de Fermat. For those of you who detest, hate and loathe Spanish cinema (wink,wink) you should watch this one,moreover if you are interested in Maths (double wink). The movie's about four (or five??)guys who are invited to a meeting of Maths geniuses and get into trouble.It's a very challenging movie,you feel as if you were bieng tested constantly,you have to think...and you have to think fast.

I truly recommend that you watch the movie,you won't regret it.i mean,seriously,it's much better than the stinky and redneckish movies where a copper blows up and people become robots that are produced in this place...what's its name...it's on the tip of my tongue...Oh,yes,Hollywood!!!

WHY?????

Why do I have to deal with all the freaks and weirdos in this country???Why do they all come up to me???Leave me alone!!!!Believe it or not, yesterday I had a paranormal situation. I was walking down the streets of Guadalajara, enjoying a sad and dim fall evening,enjoying every single wave of chill air on my face and my nostrils.Well, I walk into a café for a hot coffee (Good Lord,people in Guadalajara smoke a lot!!!I quit two months ago and I could barely breathe) and this waiter comes up to me and takes my order. Nice, I'd never been to that bar and despite the cloud of Virginia smoke I almost got to enjoy my time there...but suddenly this FREAK comes up to me,as if the world was about to blow up any given minute and yells at me:

"Que muera el PP, me ha quitado cuatro apartamentos en Nueva York y ha secuestrado a mi hija!!" and repeats the same thing a couple of times!!!I told him to stay calm, I told him that I had lost six apartments in New York and three sons.That seemed to calm him down a little bit. I told the waiter to serve him another drink and I offered to pay for it.

RANTING AT THE DENTIST'S

Yesterday afternoon, I was at the dentist's waiting to get a filling done. The thing is that I was on my own at the waiting room, and the background music was pretty much like the background music you get in every single posh elevator....relaxing,calming and cool instrumental versions of "I wanna know what love is....I want you to show me..." so on and so forth if you know what I mean, little brats.So, I kept on waiting for the dude to come out, or for the assistant to offer a coffee or a pop while I had to hear the drill inside the consult, picturing how that drill penetrated inside the dental cavities of some innocent client.

I started to feel uneasy as I saw that nobody was coming out of the consult nor was anybody getting in, just me,myself and the noise from the drill...what a bore. I suddenly started to worry and asked for the receptionist who had welcomed me about 30 minutes ago.Nobody answered.I went up to the reception and realized that she was gone!!!I headed to the dentist's consult...opened the door and saw that both the dentist and the client had been ruthlessly assassinated by that drill.

Oh,I was just nodding off after lunch and thought that some fiction would do good to me.

ANY GIVEN DAY

Any given day, the wheel of fortune will spin backwards, and the goddess will retire or else, apply for unemployment subsidy.Any given day, we'll all control the wheel, we'll be able to stop it at any moment and everything will be fine.Any given day, I'll learn how to use computers and I'll get along with them. Any given day, everybody'll be able to express their feelings freely, and the middle point won't be anymore the most respected opinion...God...it's so easy to be liked...being liked is totally overrated....and expressing our emotions and feeling is underrated. Any given day I'll tell one of my friends how much I hate his new hairstyle and, most importantly, he'll still like me...I won't have to remain silent.

Any given day, people will like us the way we are and not the way they want us to be.

LENTILS

Last weekend I was having dinner with friends.A couple I hadn't met joined us too. They were friends of one of my friends,if you know what I mean.The boy was tall and stocky,and most of the time we were talking about food.This young fellow took pride in being able to cook "deconstructed Spanish omelette with decomposed apple pie", which he had apparently first eaten at Ferran Adria's Bulli. He then continued stating that he couldn't understand people who didn't even want to try nouvelle cuisine, he said they were "narrow-minded hicks".

After a couple of hours listening to him I raised my cup and said:

"Honestly,I prefer a nice plate of lentils with pork-sausage,It has no Nitrogen or Oxygen,it tastes great and I don't understand those pompous and prepotent rednecks like you who prefer to eat a frozen criket"