June 13, 2010

ONE LAST POST

Dear all,
This is the end of NOBODY LIKES CODFISH. I've received threats to put an end to this blog,they said that if I didn't close this blog I would suffer painful consequences.There are hidden interests in all this issue,some of which I can't tell.I may come back next year with another blog,with a different name,perhaps with interesting things to say....I gotta say thank you to all those who supported me all along this experience,Pablo Canabal,Pablo Mates and of course...all of the students who contributed to make this possible....Juvenile Delinquent,Ceciclia,Sam,López,etc... (Etc means there are no more!!!)
nobody likes codfish will be exterminated in three...two...one....

June 07, 2010

HOW DID IT GO???

So...how about it???If you have some spare time,log in and tell me whether you found the exams easy or difficult,tell me about the English exam,etc...I hope you did well...anyway,hope to see/talk to you soon,guys.
Tc,

Mr.Tight

June 01, 2010

THE FINAL COUNTDOWN


Dear all,

We're just a few days away from the finish line,and it is exactly now when we have to make a greater effort.Nothing in this life is as rewarding as feeling you've given all you had,no matter if you win or lose.When I do my very best I don't really care about winning or losing,because I know deep inside that I've already won.

Do your best...and may the force be with you.....

May 21, 2010

SORRY...


I'm sorry if I let you down,guys.I didn't go for the drink because I knew the place would packed (=abarrotado) as it finally was (or so I've heard).I can't stand being in the middle of a crowd,I get nervous,my blood pressure drops automatically and I've even passed out(=desmayarse) on previous occassions.That's why I avoid crowds,that's why I avoid demonstrations (=manifestaciones),concerts,shopping malls at Christmas and megadinners.I'm sure you all understand.I have to say I did have a nice time during the dinner,except those times when a group of guys from 2ºA came to say hello to Rocío gathering (=reuniéndose) around me,that I didn't like.Anyway,it's time to get back to work a.s.a.p. (as soon as possible),we're just two weeks away from the end of the road and we have to give all we've got.So....do it.

May 18, 2010

AS CHANCE WOULD HAVE IT...


As chance would have it (=por obra del azar) I ran into(=me encontré con) an old friend last Sunday afternoon.We went to university together,yet we weren't really close.We decided to go for a coffee.She started to tell me about her whereabouts (=sus idas y venidas) in English academies.She then asked me what I was doing. When I said I was working in a state school (=colegio público) she looked at me as if I were an alien.

-"Seriously??? -she asked-I mean,don't you have problems with the students???Isn't it dangerous???"

-"Not really,-I replied-in over three years I haven't had to repair car scratches(=arañazos de coche),or slashed tyres(=ruedas pinchadas)" (That's because I walk to school, I thought).

-"Wow, Mr.Tight,you must really have some patience!!!" ("yes,with you!!!"- I thought)

At this point I got really mad,because I've heard that crap far too many times:

-"Look,mammal!!(=mamífero), I love my job and I truly think it's a joke that I even get paid to do what I love to do,if you don't like state schools,good,don't apply for the job,but stoooop iiit!!!!!!!!DEAL WITH IT!!!!!!(=TE AGUAAANTAAASSS!!!!)

I know I shouldn't have called her "mammal", but she made me lost my temper,I'm sorry.

May 14, 2010

"JR. GONG" MARLEY

Dear All,
For the last six months,I've become a real fan of Damian Marley,I love his music and strongly recommend that you check it out whenever you get a couple of minutes to listen to some of his songs ("welcome to jamrock" ,"Pimpass' Paradise"or "There for you" are among my favourites).

Damian was two years old when his father Bob Marley died; he is the only child born to Marley and Cindy Breakspeare, Miss World 1976. Damian's nickname Junior Gong is derived from his father's nickname of Tuff Gong. Marley has been performing since the age of 13. He shares, along with most of his family, a full-time career in music. Unlike his brothers and sisters, however, his musical specialty is "toasting", a Jamaican vocal technique that is a predecessor to rapping.Welcome to Jamrock was considered the best reggae song of the decade by the New York Times. He has 12 siblings total; 10 on his father's side and 2 on his mother's side. Damian was two years old when his father died, killed by the spread of melanoma to his lungs and brain, at 36 years of age. Marley has been in the music business since he was a child. He began performing as the vocalist for a group called The Shepherds.his music reflects both his beliefs and the Rastafari guiding principles of one love, one planet, and freedom for all nations.

May 11, 2010

WHY I DON'T LIKE MEGADINNERS


I don't like megadinners (to me more than 6 people is already a megadinner) because people talk.Silence is underrated(=infravalorado).Weird people say weird things and normal people....well,normal people say weird things too.It's not easy to be a social being,and being social isn't one of the things I'm best at, if you know what I mean. I usually drive everywhere,so I don't usually drink at these events.If you are sober(=sobrio) and the person you're talking to is kinda tipsy (=chispilla), whatever he/she says won't make much sense,they will hug you and say how much they love you,and really, I don't like to be hugged by strangers.So...I don't really know how to say this without being disrespectful....uhhhh....the less our dinner resembles the photograph above,the better.

May 09, 2010

WILLPOWER


Dear all,

The Spanish league is about to end,it's just 90 minutes away.As you probably know,only two teams can win,Barcelona and Real Madrid.Barcelona has led (=ha liderado)the league all through the championship.All along,Real madrid has been doing their best to catch up with (=seguirle el ritmo a) Barcelona, they didn't want to fall behind (=quedarse rezagado).You all know how I support Atlético,who have also done a very good season (we may end up winning more titles than anyone else in Spain!!!).As a result,I couldn't care less (=no me puede importar menos) about who wins the league.

Nevertheless,one thing is for certain; Whoever (=quienquiera que) wins, they will deserve it.Both teams have fought really hard,and it takes a lot of willpower (=fuerza de voluntad) to keep on fighting when you see that you competitor wins every single match.Therefore,even if they lose,I would like to congratulate Real Madrid for their fabulous season.However,as you know,only one team can be the champions.I truly think that that team must be F.C.Barcelona.They've played a much more spectacular football than Real Madrid.It wasn't as good as last season,but still they played much better and, as a result, they deserve the championship.

May 06, 2010

UNTITLED

Don't look for an answer.No one's to blame.we definitely aren't.No one is.Sometimes I think we've been thrown into this mayhem and chaos for no reason at all.Some days I think it's just a matter of chance.Really hard to understand,I know,but that's the way it is. Don't look around,don't look back...not even in anger.

May 04, 2010

NO DUMBER THAN YOU,PARTNER


Dear dudenesses,

Nobody will say up front "I'm dumb". Nobody will ever recognize they are dumb,even though we all know (or by this time you should've already seen) there are thousands out there.I've met many,in all walks of life,really.I've been one actually.In fact...I AM one.Yes,I am dumb.Believe it or not,those who don't like you think you are dumb.I know there are some people who don't like me,and I'm sure they have a blast (=to have a good time) criticizing me or calling me dumb.
Mike Tyson once said: "Everybody thinks they're more intelligent than me...until I punch them in the face". To a certain degree I agree with him,please don't understand this as an apology of violence,I will always condemn firmly all kinds of violence and even violent sports...wink,wink.My point is,I think I'm not dumber than anyone around me,nor am I smarter than them,of course.I'm just the way I am,which,believe me,is something hard to do.Far too many people will show you a face,many times something similar to a character from a TV series...sad but true.Whenever I meet one of these actors....D'you know what I think???

"I'm no dumber than you,partner!!!"

April 28, 2010

PROM KING


Dear All,

Prom night's getting closer.For Americans,it's one of the most important nights of their lives and,even if you deny it,I know you are excited about it too.One of the most famous American traditions is choosing a Prom King and a Prom Queen who, as you must have seen in many teen movies (=pelis de adolescentes yankees), head the ball (=encabezan el baile) after their names have been announced.Now,many questions pop up (=surgen) in my mind.Who's the prom king and queen in 2º Bachillerato B??? you can vote here. I've attached a photograph of my prom night, that's me when I was 17,believe it or not....

April 26, 2010

MY OWN PRIVATE TRIBUTE TO HANK



a smile to remember ,by Charles Bukowski

we had goldfish and they circled around and around
in the bowl on the table near the heavy drapes
covering the picture window andmy mother, always smiling, wanting us all
to be happy, told me, "be happy Henry!"
and she was right: it's better to be happy if you
can
but my father continued to beat her and me several times a week while
raging inside his 6-foot-two frame because he couldn't
understand what was attacking him from within.
my mother, poor fish,wanting to be happy, beaten two or three times a
week, telling me to be happy: "Henry, smile!why don't you ever smile?"
and then she would smile, to show me how, and it was the
Saddest smile I ever saw
one day the goldfish died, all five of them,
they floated on the water, on their sides, their
eyes still open,and when my father got home he threw them to the cat
there on the kitchen floor and we watched as my mother
smiled

April 21, 2010

THE J-TEAM


Dear All,

I don't know if you remember the A-team.You are far too young to rememeber,when this TV series came out you were just a foetus, or just an idea in your parents' minds. Well,this was about four guys who did good and either captured the bad guys or punished them.In every single chapter there was a massive shootout (=intercambio de disparos), but nobody ever (and I mean EVER) died or even get injured.They also invented a tank or a fighter jet(=avión de guerra) out of rubble (=escombros).Now my colleagues Javier (Matute), Julio and Juanjo and I have been baptized (=hemos sido bautizados) by our colleagues 'the J-team' (our names start with 'J') in analogy with the TV series.My question is...who is who????Who's Hannibal Smith? (the mastermind)????Who's Templeton 'Faceman' Peck (in Spanish 'Fénix'),who's Mr.T Baracus???And...most importantly....Who's Murdock (the dumb/ crazy guy)????Looking forward to your answers...I got it pretty clear,by the way.

April 20, 2010

WEIRDO MAGNET


I'm a magnet for weirdos.I know,I've said this a thousand times,but I'm starting to get sick and tired of being the gutter of many people's psychological issues.STOOP ITTTT!!!!!!Yes, I'm talking to you,you think you are sooo intelligent,so clever that you have to speak with secret and profound words."Nobody knows anything" or things like that.Well,Mr.Smartash...guess what???I do know something,there it goes:"I like drinking coffee in the morning",don't go around telling people what they haven't asked you.."don't talk unless you are talked to", used to tell me my father, and he sure was right,partner.Don't patronize me with words you don't even understand,words you've borrowed from a movie about teen vampires or God only knows where you've taken them from.You sure need a hobby to make you stop being so weird!!!!Well,guys,this is my shot of morning ranting.Now,look up all the words you didn't understand,do me that favor....do yourselves that favor.

April 15, 2010

WHAT TYPE ARE YOU???


Dear All,

Last saturday we could see an exciting match.Needless to say, (=innecesario decir) I didn't really care about who would win the game,I just wanted to see an exciting game.I could also see how two different types of people met; On the one hand, an introverted, self-conscious type embodied (=personificado) in Leo Messi.On the other hand, the cocky (=chulito)type represented by CR9.

I personally think Messi is a far better player than the portuguese star, yet Ronaldo himself said at the end of the match that he was better than Messi.Just by saying that I knew Messi was better.Don't get me wrong (=no me malentendáis), I've always thought that there's nothing wrong about adopting a self-confident (=confiado en sí mismo)and even cocky attitude in life.But when you hear them both speaking,they're worlds apart (=como el día y la noche).

Which type are you???Who do you think is the best???

April 13, 2010

ME,SNOW-WHITE,LONDON


My first day at London Guildhall University was weird.Everybody spoke English.Since I had taken the degree in English studies,I guess I was the weird one.I went to my first class: Creative writing.The teacher assigned a paper for the following day.We had to analyse a text about a boy who detested his girlfriend's breath whenever she kissed him.After the class,the rugby team invited me to join them for a pint (=pinta)of beer...what could I say?I decided to start working at the University pub.I knew I'd meet lots of people and thus have lots of opportunities to speak English,so I applied for the job.

When I returned to my 'home' (a 3x3 dingy(=sucio) bedroom) I started to write my essay.The text was a symbolic version of snow white's(=blancanieves) apple: The apple (the kiss) was luring(=atrayente) and desirable,yet it contained poison (her breath),and similarly many things in life which seem attractive at first sight (=a primera vista) hide a pernicious element underneath (=esconden algo pernicioso por debajo). One week later,the teacher read my essay in front of the rest of the class and praised (=alabó) my work. That was a tough yet good start.

April 06, 2010

BACK HOME


Dear all,it's Tuesday morning and we're back home...(by 'home' I mean work,you'll understand in a few years).I'm all alone in the teachers' lounge and I have to prepare plenty of things I had left unfinished when I left.My easter holiday was good,I was able to sleep long hours,rest,read (Irvine Welsh's Filth) and see my nephews. They are fine and they say hello to all of you. It's not true,but anyway,I hope that makes you feel better.

I don't really know what I'm writing in this post or why I am writing at all,I need a double shot of coffee or a double shot of Smith n' Wesson, either one will do.My colleagues are now talking too loud,I understand foreigners when they say that Spaniards speak too loud.Well, I guess that means I'm back to work.I hope you don't give a hard time,little brats.See you in a couple of minutes,pranks.

March 25, 2010

THE BEAUTY OF LOSING

Losing is one of the best things that could ever happen to you.If you win,you feel good,I know (or so I've heard),you feel superior and good.Nevertheless, winners will never learn anything.If you lose,you can see where you were wrong,you can see your mistakes so as not to make them again.Winners don't learn.Losers do.Winners probably have nothing to learn,you may say.But...if I had nothing to learn I think I would blow my brains out,really.
I pity winners,really.And if they feel like winners I pity them twice as much.Sometimes people tend to patronize you,with that air looking down upon you,but I feel rather amused whenever I come across one of those.One of those who think they're always right.Good for you,winner,I'd rather be a loser.It's so much fun...

March 23, 2010

THIS IS JUST TO LET YOU KNOW I'M ALIVE


Dear all,I'm really busy,I can't tell you what happened to me yesterday,I sure will.Survive without my posts for a couple more days,I'm sure you will.In the meantime (=mientras tanto),I post this awesome picture.It was taken the last time I went to the sanctuary.(At.Madrid 3 Valencia 1).

March 18, 2010

D'YOU WANNA BET???


It all struck my mind like lightning.It's roughly three months to the examination.I've encouraged you to do your best many times.I've told you to push your limits and to give all you've got until everything is over.Now I'm gonna take another step forward. I'm going to go through it all with you guys...I'm going to push MY limits. How? I'm going to learn ITALIAN.Without teachers,without attending classes,just by myself.Just with the multimedia resources that are available on the internet.I'm determined to speak Italian in three months.
Don't ask me why I'm doing this...I don't really know...I'm just doing it.I want to suffer next to you,I'm your tutor,so it is my responsibility to endure the rough times as much as we've enjoyed the good times before.We'll do it all together,dudes.But...If I see you're not giving as much as I'm going to give...well,hold on tight.

March 15, 2010

WHEN THE CAT'S AWAY THE MICE WILL PLAY


An English saying goes: "When the cat's away,the mice will play". It essentially tells us that when our supervisors (boss,tutor,police,etc..)are not within earshot (=a distancia que se nos pueda oír) we feel at ease (=cómodos) and tend to relax and do the things we would do if we were on our own (=alone).

That was exactly what happened to me last week; I was at the staff room fooling around (=bromeando) with Mr.Albalad and Mr.Palmis, we were laughing about a scene in the movie "The silence of the lambs",when suddenly Charo asked me to stop.She wanted to introduce us to the new pedagogical inspector.I could feel the earth moving beneath (=under) my feet, because I knew she would assess (=evaluar) my job!!! Luckily enough,Charo helped me feel less uncomfortable.The minute I saw the inspector there I thought: "When the cat's away, the mice will play"

March 12, 2010

NO PAIN, NO GAIN


Dear all,the end is just around the corner, it's essentially a couple of months.I encourage you to give all you've got inside,try yourselves out...challenge yourselves.You gotta be your worst enemy.The results have been slightly better than in the first term, and I'm pretty sure it´ll all be even better for the last,because I know you're going to do your best,I know you're going to do your utmost to get the best results.

It's just one last effort,guys. There's an English saying that says: NO PAIN, NO GAIN (=sin dolor no hay ganancia).Last December, I ran a 21km track. The last 5 or 10 km I was in real pain, I felt like giving up more than once,I saw many people passing me by,I saw many people giving up,abandoning the fight.All my time references told me I was going to get a much worse time than the one I had got two years ago, but still...I kept on fighting.

Bottom line: keep on fighting...don't give up.

March 09, 2010

THE DUDE

Dear All,
The Dude has made it happen.The dude,a.k.a His Dudeness,a.k.a Jeff Bridges,was awarded with the Oscar for the best leading actor performance.He should have received that award for his performance in "The Big Lebowski", but it's better late than never.Now I suggest that you go to your library and rent the movie.really something to write a postcard home about.....a "must-see".


March 01, 2010

THE FREAKS STRIKE AGAIN


Dear All,

You all know by know how I admire the United States of America.Every now and then I tell you about American customs,traditions,etc...If the USA didn't exist,someone should invent them,in other words.The problem comes when I start to feel (I've had this feeling for over three years now) that Spain is dangerously starting to behave like Americans.Yesterday I was at the supermarket doing the shopping,like every Monday...cookies,OJ (=Orange Juice), coffee, codfish (haha,I'm kidding,of course), some fruit (strawberries, pears, clementines and lemons), some vegetables and my chocolate treat (=capricho, recompensa). Then I go on to get the cured ham (for my Friday night's ham pizza) and see there's a line (=BR English=queue) of two other women. I saw that neither (=ninguna de las dos) had taken a turn ticket, so I asked: "Who's the last to order?" One of the two girls turns to me and says: "WE're about to finish (making it obvious they were together), is it so difficult for a man to know when two girls are having together or do you have any problem with it?" Wow...they were a couple but...how ON EARTH am I supposed to know???On the other hand, her remark (=comentario) was kind of rude, so I replied (=respondí): "I have no problem with nothing, ma'am,don't take it personally,the society don't hate you, although you may love feeling like it". WHAAAT'S WRONNNGGG!!!!

I don't see why all the freaks (Needless to say(=sobra decir)I talk about freaks because of her reply, not about her condition) should come up to me and rub their mud ON MY FACEEEE!!!!

February 24, 2010

DON'T LEARN THINGS #1


Dear All, this is the first in a series of posts dedicated to not learning things.Since you didn't learn anything in my "Learn things" posts, I hope I can achieve my objective now by making you not learn anything:
I got up this morning on the right side of the bed,I went to the lavatory and washed my face.I then went to my kitchen,heated my coffee and waited until the microwave oven beeped.It eventually beeped,so I put some sugar (two teaspoons) and got a cookie out of the box.I began to think about the things I had to do after work...(Go to the library,return the movie Tootsie,get a new one, go to the pharmacy,get some tylenol,go to boxing class,etc...). Then I got dressed and brushed my teeth.I took my keys,my bag and locked the door.As I was walking to school (listening to Aimee Man's Save Me) I saw a dog taking a dump on the sidewalk, there was nobody next to him, he was a freelance dog, and when he was done he kept on walking...and I did the same.

February 22, 2010

LEARN THINGS #3


Dear All,

Today's "Learn things" section is dedicated to British culture.The first two "Learn Things" have been dedicated to American civil rights leaders Rosa Parks and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Some of you might have been to London and/or have read numerous things about that glorious city in your textbooks. British culture has also produced many of the world's most relevant leaders: Winston Churchill, Sir Walter Raleigh, Sir Alex Ferguson or Noel Gallagher among others (mind the subtle and wise assocciation)...but What d'you know about David Robert Jones? Underneath that common name is one of the most influential artists of the 20th Century.Check it out on the net and tell me whether you like him or not.I'm really keen on.....well,it's time for you to websearch!!!!

February 21, 2010

IRON MIKE, OR...THE KID DYNAMITE


Michael Gerard "Mike" Tyson (born June 30, 1966) is a retired American boxer. He was the undisputed heavyweight champion and remains the youngest man ever to win the WBC, WBA and IBF world heavyweight titles. Throughout his career, Tyson became well-known for his ferocious and intimidating boxing style as well as his controversial behavior both inside and outside the ring. Soon to become one of the most controversial events in modern sports the fight against Evander Holyfield was stopped at the end of the third round, with Tyson disqualified for biting Holyfield on both ears. The first time he bit him the match was stopped, but then it resumed. However after the match resumed Tyson did it again; this time Tyson was disqualified and Holyfield won the match. One bite was severe enough to remove a piece of Holyfield's right ear, which was found on the ring floor after the fight. Tyson later stated that it was retaliation for Holyfield repeatedly head butting him without penalty.In the confusion that followed the ending of the bout and announcement of the decision, a near riot erupted in the arena and several people were injured in the ensuing melee.

February 18, 2010

RANDOM THOUGHTS ON A MONDAY MORNING


What do thousands of Spaniards do on a long weekend? Go to Prague,of course.It was packed,you could hear Spanish language floating in the air as if Spain had blown off the the map on account of a nuclear disaster and the population had moved to Prague.Where are the 400 varieties of beer people talked about??I only saw three,but that was enough for me, not a very picky palate I've got.The city is awesome,and if they ever refurnish the whole lot or renovate the buildings I'll never ever go.keep it the way it is now,folks.It is dark,as dark as no other European city is;The people are rude,as rude as the people of no other European country are,but that makes them a great people too.No fooling around,no masquerade.Nobody was celebrating carnival despite the fact that it had been long announced in the airport and on the plane.Not one single funny dress.That's how I understand life,not one single funny dress.

February 12, 2010

RANDOM THOUGHTS ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON


When I first arrived in Toronto,nobody picked me up at the airport.I was on my own,in a different country, with different people,in a different world. I didn't know which way to go,where to go,where to look for accomodation or who to ask for help.I thought the wisest choice then was to go to a cafeteria still inside the airport to have a coffee.It was way too hot, so I left it right there.I left the airport without knowing what to do.I called a taxi, stuffed my suitcase in the trunk and told him to start driving.He asked me where to. "Just drive" I said. He took me to the freeway and kept on driving.
"Excuse my interrupting, sir...but you seem to be rather lost if I may say so"-said the cabbie.
"You don't interrupt,and you're right.I'm lost.But it also seems to me that I'm starting to find myself.I've been lost all my life,and I've come here to meet me".
(Random thoughts on a Friday afternoon)

February 09, 2010

SUPERBOWL


The American superbowl is the greatest TV show on Earth. Last year,the American government asked the population not to go to the bathroom during the TV commercials,since the sewage system (=el alcantarillado) would collapse from receiving so much pooh at the same time.

February 08, 2010

SHOPLIFTING


Dear All,

yesterday I witnessed a miracle. As I was doing the shopping, I saw that a woman next to me was stealing.I saw how she got a pack of ham in her pocket.I found this really interesting, so I decide to chase her (=perseguirla) around the supermarket. She went on to the alley (=pasillo) where the cosmetic products were and got two boxes with night cream, or day cream,or moisturizing cream, or ice cream, I don't know, I don't know much about creams.She got both of them in her pockets!!!Wow,this was starting to become really interesting.She walked along the alley and ended up in the liquor alley...uhmmm...I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw her take a bottle of 2/5ths (two-fifths= 200ml) of Vodka and she put it inside her coat!!!!

I wanted to see how everything turned out (=resultaba), I wanted to see if the security guard kept her in a 2x2 room as I had some days ago!! She arrived to the check-out (=caja) and paid just for one toothbrush!!!She went away with lots of things in her coat and nobody told her anything.I didn't let the cat out (=dejar salir al gato=contar un secreto). Then I realized I hadn't done my shopping and started to walk around the alleys...determined to pay for my purchase (=compra)...like a good citizen (=ciudadano).

February 05, 2010

SMOKE WEIGHS!!!!

Who said that smoke doesn't weigh???Hereby (=por la presente) I will prove it does,and whoever (=quienquiera) tries to bring my arguments down will suffer a severe punishment.I will prove the validity of my arguments with an experiment.All you need is a lab scale (=báscula de precisión) and a cigarrette.
Take the cigarrette out of the pack and put it on the scale. Write down how much it weighs. Now light the cigarrette.As it gets consumed,put the ashes(=cenizas) on the lab scale.When it puts out(=apagar) by itself, place (=coloca)the butt (= colilla) on the scale with the ashes. You will see that the total weight is inferior to the original weight of the cigarrette before it had been lit.
As you can imagine, the difference between the weights of the cigarrette before and after it was lit is the weight of the smoke!!!!
In my humble opinion, and with all due respect (=con el debido respeto) to the rest of the teachers at IES Profesor Domínguez Ortiz, I have proven the weight of smoke and therefore I think I deserve the nobel prize for science!!!!

February 03, 2010

CANADA vs SPAIN


Dear all,

As if this were a boxing ring,I'll compare Canadian and Spanish cultures putting forward what I consider to be their most remarkable pros and cons(=pros y contras) and then you decide where you'd rather live.

First of all,let me say that Spain is getting more and more "american". Now we go shopping to malls (20 years ago we'd go to a department store,which is more european).Canadians take off their shoes as soon as they get home,which makes sense,since shoe soles bring in all the dirt from the street. On the other hand it looks pretty weird (=strange)to be in a party where you can see your friends' socks!!!

Streets are, by far, much cleaner in Canada.Spaniards throw cigarette butts and chewing gum on the ground,inconceivable in Canada. Canadians dress as if they were at home,too casual in my opinion.But 'convenience'(=comodidad) is the most important concept in their culture.They aren't as envious or nosey as Spaniards,let me tell you.Unlike in Spain,Canadian cuisine sucks (=es un rollo),hot dogs,burguers and bar-b-q. Furthermore,their weather sucks even more,with half a year of snow and maximum temperatures below 0ºC in winter!!!Salaries are much higher,though,they probably earn twice as much as here,and paternity leave lasts 1 year!! (la baja por maternidad/paternidad dura 1 año!!). Nevertheless, I have to say they're not very culturate,not many knew where Spain was,and they didn't care much about the rest of the world.In a nutshell,let me know if you'd like to live in Canada and why!!!!

February 01, 2010

PULLED OVER

Dear all,
I think I've already mentioned what a magnet (=imán) I am for weird(=strange,bizarre) people.Last Saturday afternoon I was driving in a hurry doing 90mph in the freeway, since I had arranged to get together for lunch with some of my cousins in Alcalá de Henares and I was already late...as usual. I was driving past the fecalthlon (what else???) and got pulled over (=echado a un lado) by the police. This is the transcription of my conversation with the police,give or take a word or two:
POLICE: D'you know what the speed limit in the freeway is,right?
JAVIER: Yes, sir.I just oversped (=rebasé el límite) 5 mph.
POLICE: Why the hurry?(=¿a qué venía tanta prisa?)
JAVIER: I know you hear this everyday,sir,but I was on my way to the airport,my plane's leaving in two hours.
POLICE: May I see your ticket?
JAVIER: It's an electronic ticket, sir, I only need to show my ID.
POLICE: Where are you going?
JAVIER: Lisbon, sir...Portugal.
POLICE: Believe it or not I was there last Christmas.Is this your first time in Lisbon?
JAVIER: Yes, sir, I've never been there.
POLICE: Alright,then.This one time,I'll let you go,but slow down....and enjoy the city,it's really beautiful!!!!
JAVIER: Thanks a million,sir,I will enjoy my trip,thanks again!!!
POLICE: Godsped!!!(=buen viaje)
It's a good thing he didn't offer to accompany me to the airport....

January 29, 2010

LUCHA DE GIGANTES



Last Tuesday you gave me the lyrics of your favourite songs in English language.Today I show you my favourite song in Spanish language.One of the most inspiring and awesome tunes I've ever heard. ENJOY

January 27, 2010

MODERN ART


"bleeding underworld" (private collection)

It's hard to analyze the beauty of this fine piece of modern art.Its indisputable artistic quality and the cromatic combination make it one of the milestones of modern art. Analyze this.

January 26, 2010

LEARN THINGS #3


Hi,guys.This is the third episode of the 'learn things' section.In the previous episode,Mr.López,from 2Bach B hit the nail on the spot and got the right answer.The video showed JFK's assassination and the boy was JFK's son,the late John John Kennedy, saluting his father's coffin.Today you'll be able to see one of the great leaders of the civil rights movement in the Unites States of America, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr, delivering his most famous speech.I included the English subtitles for you to better understand it all. This speech is History,folks.I wish half his speech had come true today...Enjoy.

January 25, 2010

COFFE TABLING


Dear all,

As for today,January 25th,I declare my new coffee table assembled.It all dates back to some two years ago.On a day like today,2008,I thought it would be a good idea to build a coffee table out of construction pallets.About two months ago I went to a factory to look for two identical pallets,which I found easily.The pallets were all soaked since it had been raining.I let them dry off at home.First I polished them,painted them,bought the four wheels that'll make the table move and drilled the holes for the wheels,etc...

The final outcome is about to come out,I promise to publish a photograph when it's totally done,I still have to buy a glass panel that'll be on top of the table,but today I can say it's all over.It's taken me hours,hard work,patience,etc...I'm one of the clumsiest persons I've ever met,I'm really bad at DIY (Do It Yourself=Bricolaje),but with a little willpower (=fuerza de voluntad) everything turns into a piece of cake (=pan comido).

January 20, 2010

FECALTHLON

Dear all,
I'm slightly upset today about the incident that happened to me yesterday afternoon in one of our dearest and most appreciated department stores.I can't say its name openly,let's just call it "fecalthlon",since the real name rhymes with that word.It all dates back to Monday afternoon,when I went to this fine venue to purchase a couple of things,a black hoodie among others.Yesterday afternoon I had to go back to the premises to return one item I had bought the previous day,and I was wearing my brand new black hoodie.I was about to exit when the alarm went off.They "invited" me to access a small somewhat dirty room where they asked me to take my jacket off.The hoodie was to blame for the turmoil.They asked me if I could show them the receipt,but I didn't have it,since I had bought the hoodie separately from the item I had returned.I told the security guard to check my affinity card,where there should be a record of the purchase.Unfortunately,the girl at the check out hadn't slipped the card,so there was no evidence.They wanted to call the police,but I told them to keep the goddamn hoodie and I left.As I arrived home,I looked for the ticket inside the trash bin,and I found it.I went back to the store and asked politely to talk to the manager.The situation was much more troublesome than I'm telling you now,and there might have been someone humilliating me and there might have been some me yelling at the manager once it was all clear but...it could've turned out badly for me.When I arrived back home with my hoodie,I played Nirvana's 'smells like teen spirits' and shouted my lungs out.

January 19, 2010

RAGE AGAINST THE...WHAT???

My students from 2º BB were angry last monday.They arrived late (as usual) and didn't apologize.I almost had to apologize for asking why they never felt like arriving on time.Good heavens...misters...mistresses...what and where on EARTH D'YOU THINK YOU AREEEEEE!!!!!!!If you didn't feel like comin' to class,well DOOON'T. I FELT LIKE I WAS TALKING TO THE WAAAAAALLLLLLSSSSSS.RIGHT,I'M YOUR TUTOR,AND I'M SUPPOSED TO DEAL WITH YOUR PERSONAL ISSUES.I'M ACTUALLY WILLING TO,BUT IF YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT'S GOOIINNGG ON I CAN'T HEEEELPP YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.

January 12, 2010

MY FIRST BOXING LESSON





Dear all,


Yesterday I took my first boxing lesson ever. It was tough...really tough. It lasted only an hour,but it felt like some three or four hours.I wasn't able to do as many push-ups(=fondos) as my instructor told me to do.I stood in front of a mirror practising the basic moves,and believe it or not my shoulders are all stiff and numb today, I could barely raise my arms to apply the shampoo on my hair yesterday evening!!!!The bottom line is that the guys who have been doing it for a year or two years were able to punch the balloon or whatever they call it, but it was my first day,and all I could do was stand in front of the mirror. That's exactly what you should do with the English Language: master the basic moves before you move on to more complex structures.Be humble and don't take anything for granted.That's the only way to become an all-time boxer in the english language!!!!

January 07, 2010

LEARN THINGS #2


This is the second episode of the "learn things" section.The first one was a disgrace, crash n' burn,no one was even close.Let's see if you learn something today,guys. Today I send you a link to one of this moments in History everybody should be able to recognize. I want to know the names of each of the passengers in the car,the day and the city where this video took place. C'mon, guys, this one is VERY EASY!!!! . By the way,I also want to know what the name of the kid in the picture is, who he is and who he is saluting. Oh!!!I almost forgot...happy new year.