THE LUNACY OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE

(lunacy=rareza).English language is weird (=rara).Let's take a look at a couple of illustrating examples. A Guinea Pig (=conejillo de indias) is neither a pig nor from Guinea;A Pineapple is neither a pine nor an apple!!! Why is it then that quicksand (=arenas movedizas) works so slowly??There's no ham in a hamburger,and no egg in an eggplant (=berenjena).Boxing rings are not round,but square;There are no peas or nuts in peanuts. English muffins weren't invented in England,nor were French fries invented in France.If the plural of tooth is teeth,shouldn't the plural of booth be 'beeth'? If the plural of mouse is mice,the plural or house should be 'hice'!!!! If pro and con (=ventajas y desventajas) are opposites, is 'Progress' the opposite of 'Congress'?Why can we see the stars when they're out,but can't see at all when the lights are out???If a vegetarian eats vegetables,what does a humanitarian eat?

TYR

Let me introduce you (=presentaros) to TYR,my white and orange python. The pic was taken some years ago,back in my Canadian times.She ate mice (=ratones),I know it's disgusting (=asqueroso),but hey,guys,you eat little chickens and lambs(=corderitos).Snakes don't walk,they crawl (=reptar). They kill by squeezing (=apretujando) and suffocating (=ahogando) their victims to death. TYR is a native american term for 'Calm Lady'. She was indeed (=realmente) very calm,harmless (=inofensiva) and outgoing (=social).She liked to get out of her terrarium and crawl around the living room and around my shoulders (=hombros).

Whatever...

Believe it or not,this is 100% true,guys.A black and white goat (=cabra) has been arrested on

suspicion of stealing a Mazda 323.Nigerian police saw a hoodlum (=matón)

trying to steal a car. They chased (=le persiguieron) him, but when they

turned round the corner, he had turned into (=se había convertido) a goat. Belief in witchcraft (=la creencia en la brujería) is widespread (=extendida) in parts of Nigeria, Africa's most populous nation."The goat is in our custody",said the police officer. Residents came to the police station to see the goat, photographed in one national newspaper on its knees next to a pile of straw (=pila de paja).This is a good example of the use of a word I say a lot in my classses:

"Yeah,whatever"

London

In 1998,I was living in London.I used to (=solía) work at the Uni (=university) pub serving pints (=pintas) of beer.When my shift (=turno) finished at 11pm,I headed (=me dirigí) back home.On my way home(=de camino a casa),I ran into (=me topé con) a beggar (=mendigo) who was singing Elvis' "Always on my mind". I stopped to listen to him,since (=dado que) it's one of my favourite tunes (=canciones) ever. As he reached the chorus (=estribillo) I joined him(=me uní a él) and sang along (=canté al unísono). When he finished,I gave him two quid (=libras). What struck me most (=lo que más me sorprendió) was that he wanted to pay me a drink with the very same money (=con el mismo dinero) I had given him!!! We went for a hot coffee together and talked about Elvis for almost (=durante casi) three hours.I paid for the coffee.

Toronto

Here we go!!!

I lived in Toronto for a few years.It's a big city,just like any other American city.Highways are huge (=enormous) and if you live in the outskirts (=far from the center) you really need a car.People are friendly,but they're very,very different from Europeans.Teenagers (=young people) have a totally different mentality compared with you guys.Their main hobby is visiting malls (=commercial centers) and having weenies (=hot dogs),playing baseball.They have a much healthier lifestyle than you guys.I lived in a small house and my neighbour was a 76 year old lady who was obsessed with Lady Diana's carcrash(=car accident).She actually had thousands of pics (=photos) and statues of Lady Di in her basement (=the part of the house below the ground floor).She was a weirdo (=strange person),but she was very kind to me.

My First Post Ever

Hi,Everyone!!!

This is the very first post I ever publish.I'm not really sure what to talk about,I don't even know how long I'll be publishing these posts, since I'm not 100% per cent sure you will like whatever I have to tell you.

I wish you could help me out and give me ideas,things you would like to know,food you like,movies you like,books you've enjoyed,etc...

Feel free to criticize my articles,don't go too tough on me though!!!I know I'm a tough one

inside the classroom,but I'm a fairly better person outside.

Anyway,looking forward to your ideas & suggestions,

Mr.Tight